It’s 3:30pm… Have I brushed my teeth yet?

Just like there’s no crying in baseball…

there is no perfect in parenting… Or so I’m learning.

It’s a hard lesson for a perfectionist and control freak.

We have been home from the hospital for three weeks now and every day has been an adventure.

From the first morning after having both girls home when I sent text messages to friends who are moms saying… “it will get better RIGHT???“, though the first baths, cuddle times, “was that a smile??,” to projectile vomits (on me)… and peeing (on me) and ewww what is THAT?? (on me), to laughing so hard at their facial expressions and making up silly voices and songs to sooth them, every single day has been an adventure and every day we have learned so much.

I have learned a lot about myself, nothing that should be a surprise but is still shocking to me.

I came into this parenting thing thinking I could handle it all and take care of everything.  No problem – just be perfect.  I have wanted to solve all crying and make it so no one else was bothered by it (can I make it so only I hear it so no one has to worry??), have wanted to maintain all household chores, always have my hair perfect and make up on, never get flustered, and get my body back… like the day they were born.

Well… it’s time to redefine my definition of the perfect parent.  It’s ok for others to hear Baylor and Nola cry.  At 3am in the morning if someone else gets woken up it’s OK.  If we (Baylor, Nola, and I) don’t make it out of the bedroom until noon because we’ve gone back to back from feeding, to  resting to diapers and back to feeding, it’s all good.  When both girls are screaming and I’ve tried everything I know to do, it’s ok to be flustered and break down – hey… I can join in the tears sometimes – it’s OK!  (Thank goodness for friends and family who support in times of … OH MY GOODNESS!!!) And before when I would climb up ropes, flip tires, do GHD sit ups until dark, now after surgery sometimes sitting up from laying down in bed hurts… but each day I try a few more push ups, treat  their stroller like a sled push, and carry around the twins in their carriers like a boss. Sleeping babies in carriers are supposed to be used as weights right??

My new definition is all based on my girls

are they happy – YES, are they healthy – YES, are they already the most amazing little girls created – YES (I know I’m a little bias), and are they showered with love every second of the day – YES.

And yes… when I did the teeth check at 3:30pm… I had not yet brushed them… I’m on a good streak now though of clean teeth don’t worry. 

Nola and Baylor


And along came babies…

I had a plan to write a three part blog about being pregnant.  I had them all started and damn they were witty and entertaining.  BUT our little angels had different plans.  

Thursday, May 16th I went to the doctor and he said… nothing is happening… no change, no movement.  Friday mid-morning I went to the gym and I became one of those stories that starts with… all of a sudden my water broke!  

Yes… very fitting that my water would break at the gym right?  I was two minutes into the warm up and … OH MY GOODNESS… I think something just happened.  I “gracefully” said my goodbyes and inched out the door.  Kevin and I did not believe my water actually broke and we took our sweet time getting to the hospital… two hours later, a dog dropped off at daycare, Brocke picked up from school… we calmly walked into the hospital.  Brocke said he thought it would all be a lot more dramatic than it all was.  

Everything was a blur from there though.  Yes, my water had really broke, I was having contractions… but I couldn’t feel them and a c-section was needed to get the girls out safely.  I wanted the surgeons to be busy and need extra time, but they were ready for me and a quick 4 hours later I was getting my spinal shot and here we go!!!  

Baylor Rose Ellis was born at 5:58pm and Nola Irene Ellis was born at 6:01pm.  

Baylor and Nola

The days that followed were a whirlwind with very high highs and very low lows.  The emotions after delivery are so powerful and take you over.  Baylor and I were released four days later, but the day we were going home, Nola was taken into the NICU.  Our hearts were broken and the terrible feeling of leaving a piece of you at the hospital was gut wrenching.  My next post will be about our NICU journey and the adventure at home with our whole family. 

We ARE all home and healthy – learning so many new things about each family member.  Baylor and Nola have been blessed with family, friends and angels who already shower them with love and protection. 

Welcome to the word our loves

TRUE Strength