Just like there’s no crying in baseball…
there is no perfect in parenting… Or so I’m learning.
It’s a hard lesson for a perfectionist and control freak.
We have been home from the hospital for three weeks now and every day has been an adventure.
From the first morning after having both girls home when I sent text messages to friends who are moms saying… “it will get better RIGHT???“, though the first baths, cuddle times, “was that a smile??,” to projectile vomits (on me)… and peeing (on me) and ewww what is THAT?? (on me), to laughing so hard at their facial expressions and making up silly voices and songs to sooth them, every single day has been an adventure and every day we have learned so much.
I have learned a lot about myself, nothing that should be a surprise but is still shocking to me.
I came into this parenting thing thinking I could handle it all and take care of everything. No problem – just be perfect. I have wanted to solve all crying and make it so no one else was bothered by it (can I make it so only I hear it so no one has to worry??), have wanted to maintain all household chores, always have my hair perfect and make up on, never get flustered, and get my body back… like the day they were born.
Well… it’s time to redefine my definition of the perfect parent. It’s ok for others to hear Baylor and Nola cry. At 3am in the morning if someone else gets woken up it’s OK. If we (Baylor, Nola, and I) don’t make it out of the bedroom until noon because we’ve gone back to back from feeding, to resting to diapers and back to feeding, it’s all good. When both girls are screaming and I’ve tried everything I know to do, it’s ok to be flustered and break down – hey… I can join in the tears sometimes – it’s OK! (Thank goodness for friends and family who support in times of … OH MY GOODNESS!!!) And before when I would climb up ropes, flip tires, do GHD sit ups until dark, now after surgery sometimes sitting up from laying down in bed hurts… but each day I try a few more push ups, treat their stroller like a sled push, and carry around the twins in their carriers like a boss. Sleeping babies in carriers are supposed to be used as weights right??
My new definition is all based on my girls…
are they happy – YES, are they healthy – YES, are they already the most amazing little girls created – YES (I know I’m a little bias), and are they showered with love every second of the day – YES.
And yes… when I did the teeth check at 3:30pm… I had not yet brushed them… I’m on a good streak now though of clean teeth don’t worry.